Digital. It is being discovered that the universe is digitally oriented. I read a couple of articles on a new development in the communications and networking arena. It seems as if photons are composed of two parts. One with a positive spin and the other with a negative spin. This yin-yang composition allows for binary encodement such that communication using this technology would mean instance communication with no latency problems.
Employing this technology, the transfer of info would be instantaneous in any part of the known universe. The machinery needed to make this happen already exists. Bell Laboratories are already on top of it and have built prototypes that work. The possibility for instant real time networking threatens monumental overload. Everybody would know everything in the immediacy of it's occurrence. This is based on the theory that while the speed of light may experience certain restraints, the speed at which photons communicate cannot be measured, but is estimated to exist magnitudes faster than the speed of light itself.
Overload? Actually, I think there is a part of each of us that can access everything all at once in total rapture. Once experienced, such an event might pose real problems for some. In my case, the experience of such momentous occasions dictated how I lived my life. I wanted these moments of enrapturement to be of constant presence to the
exclusion of other influences. I became ecstasy's bitch. There was not another soul on earth's whose value to me exceeded my desire to re-experience the ecstasy I
experienced in certain moments of pure joy. Such is not exactly and upbeat social strategy. No blame.
I followed every clue... even rumors... to the exclusion of excellent advice to the contrary. I refused to allow someone else's conscience be my guide for my personal behavior, Alone, however, I was searching a huge dark warehouse with a small penlight. I needed more light.
I've just finished reading a series of articles on Dark Matter on information websites that explained such stuff, They say 95% of the universe is filled with Dark Matter. Earth is considered Dark Matter because it doesn't produce it's own light that present technology can detect from far away. Things like neutrinos don't matter. Literally. They are barely atomic. Their weight is so minimal they're barely considered matter at all.
With a universe almost overflowing with Dark Matter I may have to negotiate this dark universe with the little light I do possess. It's so small. Barely a point of awareness. Availing myself of it's presence more readily appears to require that I let go of even more of the false security of what I think matters. Will it ever end? Do I have to be-co-me a neutrino... again? Man... whatta drag! I was doing so well...
Friday, August 29, 2003
I remember one event that made me ecstatically happy. I literally mean ecstatic. I was completely enraptured by this event for about three days.
I visited my youngest brother in California. He was living in Riverside with his bride from England. I was not his only guest. His English bride had taken in a fellow Englander. An old man who had been in a fight with his brother who was even older. They were both in their eighties. I was completely fascinated by this old man. The brothers had come to the U.S. to help build
Silskorski's(?sp) first helicopter prototype.
He had certain habits he indulged on a daily basis. He got up each day and dressed in a suit and tie, went out to the front porch, sat in a straight back chair and lit a long cigar, and silently smoked it while he stared off
into space smiling.
I was writing poetry during that phase of my life. I finally understood why he did when I wrote:
I knew an old man with a smile on his face,
and he would sit all day in his special place,
and he would wait for the paper
that would come to the door about three.
Then, he would read that paper
until he read it clear through,
because he knowed if he read it,
then it must be true,
and the things that he saw in his mind
was not a dream.
Growing old ain't half bad,
but in getting old it get hard to see,
but if yo' light shines bright
in the middle of the night,
and you talk to the dwarves
and then to Snow White,
then you'll smile all the while
and call out "Jubilee!"
Jubilee, jubilee...
There are none so blind
as those who just won't see.
You can turn to the left
or you can turn to the right
or you can turn to the Lord
in yo' little white light,
and then you'll smile all the while,
and call out Jubilee.
After I wrote the above I created some music to accompany it so I could play my guitar and sing it in the coffee houses and bars I often sang in those days. I sang it to a kind of jumpy tune and it always brought me the most applause and seemed to get people excited. The problem was that I only had the one verse and dual choruses. It didn't last long enough.
However, I knew from experience that once a poem like this came to me and ended like this. I had never been able to write more later. It was almost like the very idea of adding more later was jinxed.
I had been on the road bumming around the country for about two years after that occasion. I lived as a beggar and slept where I could at night. That is, if I could find a safe place to sleep. Many times I existed in a huge pool of fatigue and hallucinations. I stopped by my parent's house to see them, and to stay a few days to rest up.
I didn't like to go there even though I was always welcome. It was very difficult to explain why I was doing what I was doing to them. It was even more difficult for them to understand why their oldest son was living a homeless lifestyle, and exposing himself to the dangers of road life year after year. My "go ye therefore" explanations fell on deaf ears.
On about the third day after I had caught up on my sleep I began to play my guitar and sing. I sang the song Jubilee. While I was playing and singing I began to see the next verse in the peripheries of my consciousness. I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and started writing. What I wrote perfectly matched the first verse.
I couldn't believe it. This had never happened to me before. Everything about it was "right" for me. I played it over and over until the two verses became one. For me it was a miracle. I found myself delighted beyond measure. I couldn't believe my good fortune. I wanted to share it with others. My mother's response was, "Yeah, yeah... that's nice." and she went back to playing Solitaire. Nobody knew what I had done but me.
It didn't matter. I was in heaven. I giggled and laughed and carried on like the madman everyone thought I was. I existed in a pale white light that surrounded me everywhere I went. If I fell from this ecstasy, all I had to do was just repeat the words and it all came back again. No one expected less from me. We all knew I was insane anyway. Why would I not act like it? It was my own secret that no one else could share in. Only after about three days did it come to the place where just reciting those words did not immediately bring about great joy of inestimable value.
That smiling old man he turned to me,
and said, "Son, don't you know
that this life ain't free,
that you pay for the right to call yo'self a man.
Now,a man is a vessel of the the Lord up above,
and he sends down his message on the wings of a dove,
And you've gotta clear yo' mind
just to sit and understand.
Then time will greet you with a smile,
and faith will walk that extra mile.
You can forget all the things
that make you fret and fuss
as you plot and you plan,
and you whine and you cuss.
Give it all to the Lord
as you call out Jubilee."
I visited my youngest brother in California. He was living in Riverside with his bride from England. I was not his only guest. His English bride had taken in a fellow Englander. An old man who had been in a fight with his brother who was even older. They were both in their eighties. I was completely fascinated by this old man. The brothers had come to the U.S. to help build
Silskorski's(?sp) first helicopter prototype.
He had certain habits he indulged on a daily basis. He got up each day and dressed in a suit and tie, went out to the front porch, sat in a straight back chair and lit a long cigar, and silently smoked it while he stared off
into space smiling.
I was writing poetry during that phase of my life. I finally understood why he did when I wrote:
I knew an old man with a smile on his face,
and he would sit all day in his special place,
and he would wait for the paper
that would come to the door about three.
Then, he would read that paper
until he read it clear through,
because he knowed if he read it,
then it must be true,
and the things that he saw in his mind
was not a dream.
Growing old ain't half bad,
but in getting old it get hard to see,
but if yo' light shines bright
in the middle of the night,
and you talk to the dwarves
and then to Snow White,
then you'll smile all the while
and call out "Jubilee!"
Jubilee, jubilee...
There are none so blind
as those who just won't see.
You can turn to the left
or you can turn to the right
or you can turn to the Lord
in yo' little white light,
and then you'll smile all the while,
and call out Jubilee.
After I wrote the above I created some music to accompany it so I could play my guitar and sing it in the coffee houses and bars I often sang in those days. I sang it to a kind of jumpy tune and it always brought me the most applause and seemed to get people excited. The problem was that I only had the one verse and dual choruses. It didn't last long enough.
However, I knew from experience that once a poem like this came to me and ended like this. I had never been able to write more later. It was almost like the very idea of adding more later was jinxed.
I had been on the road bumming around the country for about two years after that occasion. I lived as a beggar and slept where I could at night. That is, if I could find a safe place to sleep. Many times I existed in a huge pool of fatigue and hallucinations. I stopped by my parent's house to see them, and to stay a few days to rest up.
I didn't like to go there even though I was always welcome. It was very difficult to explain why I was doing what I was doing to them. It was even more difficult for them to understand why their oldest son was living a homeless lifestyle, and exposing himself to the dangers of road life year after year. My "go ye therefore" explanations fell on deaf ears.
On about the third day after I had caught up on my sleep I began to play my guitar and sing. I sang the song Jubilee. While I was playing and singing I began to see the next verse in the peripheries of my consciousness. I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and started writing. What I wrote perfectly matched the first verse.
I couldn't believe it. This had never happened to me before. Everything about it was "right" for me. I played it over and over until the two verses became one. For me it was a miracle. I found myself delighted beyond measure. I couldn't believe my good fortune. I wanted to share it with others. My mother's response was, "Yeah, yeah... that's nice." and she went back to playing Solitaire. Nobody knew what I had done but me.
It didn't matter. I was in heaven. I giggled and laughed and carried on like the madman everyone thought I was. I existed in a pale white light that surrounded me everywhere I went. If I fell from this ecstasy, all I had to do was just repeat the words and it all came back again. No one expected less from me. We all knew I was insane anyway. Why would I not act like it? It was my own secret that no one else could share in. Only after about three days did it come to the place where just reciting those words did not immediately bring about great joy of inestimable value.
That smiling old man he turned to me,
and said, "Son, don't you know
that this life ain't free,
that you pay for the right to call yo'self a man.
Now,a man is a vessel of the the Lord up above,
and he sends down his message on the wings of a dove,
And you've gotta clear yo' mind
just to sit and understand.
Then time will greet you with a smile,
and faith will walk that extra mile.
You can forget all the things
that make you fret and fuss
as you plot and you plan,
and you whine and you cuss.
Give it all to the Lord
as you call out Jubilee."
