"It might be impugningly crass to suggest an otherness as symbolic of some sha-man only rewarded by unheralded manifestation, as though some alchemical mystery were a virtue, much to be desired as the result of otherworldliness and heroic behavior... and who would gnow... unless implicit within it's own transparency?"
This is about as close as I get to creating something that means no thing at all. It might be noted that recently I have taken the term "meaning" to derive from the expression "me-and-thee-ing". Me-and-ing is the essence of what me-anding is all about. Meaning can not be other than that which is most essential about ones personal relationship with this, that, or the other. Perhaps just an other way of saying the same thing as 'nothing much to it' except as beholder.
Beholded-ness itself, as evoked by some object of desire, is but a state of woe being ripped apart by the dead
weight of a predator ripping open the belly of death... tormentingly... a little at the time, instead of whopping it open like a pinata and spilling it's guts all over the floor. I hate being beholden, even to my own concept of reality, whatever that unwittingly is.
With the question being: Why would I feel beholden to what I have been taught to perceive as "real"? When, what I act like is true, only exists to bear witness to "the big lie" for sake of convenience, and only possesses ex-is-tense as some piteous, transmogrified variation of scheme, vaunted into birth while in the throes of some unbridled lust to please the other.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
I guess I've always suffered from delusions of grandeur. It's not that I go around thinking I am an important person, but that, like many others, I think the thoughts of geniuses. Therein lies the rub. It's difficult to relate this to other people without their thinking that you think you're something. It's not that I think I'm something when I attempt to relate thoughts of genius, it's the very fact that I do. And... what it takes to get to the place where I can and have.
What it takes is not going along to get along. Not going along to get along can seem very difficult. Especially when it goes against the grain of what many people call common sense. But, that's the whole point. It takes more than common sense to think the thoughts of geniuses. Thinking the way one must think to go along to get along does not result in unusual thinking patterns. It results in what's most common in human thought. To access rare patterns of thought requires one to abandon the usefulness of common knowledge to go where no man has gone before.
On the other hand, having gone where no man has gone before and encountering rare patterns, it seems most difficult to relate these concepts to people who rarely go beyond the realm of ordinary thinking. No blame.
Being exposed to concepts and ideas that go beyond the realm of ordinary thinking can be very invigorating. These concepts and ideas have a power of their own that demands expression. To express unusual ideas sometimes requires feedback from others to allow oneself to explore the possible meaning attached to such things. People enraptured with common knowledge are not much help. So, the problem of getting beyond common knowledge is accompanied by the problem of communicating what one has found with a worthy adversary who can help one verify one's own experience.
I guess this is like a two-edged sword in a way. First there is adopting the kind of behavior that can lead to rare thinking, which requires a type of seeking that goes beyond the ordinary, and this leads to another kind of seeking, that of finding other seekers who have gone beyond the ordinary so that communion of the extraordinary can bring resolution to what has been found.
So, this has been my life. I have done what I thought it took to approach the extraordinary and been successful to some degree, and I have sought others who have done something similar so we could talk about what we returned from that which is extraordinary with.
There are lots of people who have studied the experiences of people who have gone beyond the ordinary realm, and who are conversant with what can happen there, and not so many people who have actually had the experiences themselves. Sometime it seems difficult to tell the difference. Some people are so familiar with what they've studied that they actually think they've had the experiences, and can convince others, temporarily, that they gnow what they're talking about. And, it's comforting to think you have actually met up with another person who can give you the nod when you tell them of what you have experienced. You wanna believe they really have experienced something similar to what you have experienced, and when you're desperate for confirmation that what you've experienced is the real thing you find yourself exhibiting another form of going along to get along... for the sake of getting the nod. However, in the end, all things will out, and sooner than wanted, you find yourself allone again hoping with only hope left for the real thing. Sharing with a contemporary who has done the deed themselves.
What it takes is not going along to get along. Not going along to get along can seem very difficult. Especially when it goes against the grain of what many people call common sense. But, that's the whole point. It takes more than common sense to think the thoughts of geniuses. Thinking the way one must think to go along to get along does not result in unusual thinking patterns. It results in what's most common in human thought. To access rare patterns of thought requires one to abandon the usefulness of common knowledge to go where no man has gone before.
On the other hand, having gone where no man has gone before and encountering rare patterns, it seems most difficult to relate these concepts to people who rarely go beyond the realm of ordinary thinking. No blame.
Being exposed to concepts and ideas that go beyond the realm of ordinary thinking can be very invigorating. These concepts and ideas have a power of their own that demands expression. To express unusual ideas sometimes requires feedback from others to allow oneself to explore the possible meaning attached to such things. People enraptured with common knowledge are not much help. So, the problem of getting beyond common knowledge is accompanied by the problem of communicating what one has found with a worthy adversary who can help one verify one's own experience.
I guess this is like a two-edged sword in a way. First there is adopting the kind of behavior that can lead to rare thinking, which requires a type of seeking that goes beyond the ordinary, and this leads to another kind of seeking, that of finding other seekers who have gone beyond the ordinary so that communion of the extraordinary can bring resolution to what has been found.
So, this has been my life. I have done what I thought it took to approach the extraordinary and been successful to some degree, and I have sought others who have done something similar so we could talk about what we returned from that which is extraordinary with.
There are lots of people who have studied the experiences of people who have gone beyond the ordinary realm, and who are conversant with what can happen there, and not so many people who have actually had the experiences themselves. Sometime it seems difficult to tell the difference. Some people are so familiar with what they've studied that they actually think they've had the experiences, and can convince others, temporarily, that they gnow what they're talking about. And, it's comforting to think you have actually met up with another person who can give you the nod when you tell them of what you have experienced. You wanna believe they really have experienced something similar to what you have experienced, and when you're desperate for confirmation that what you've experienced is the real thing you find yourself exhibiting another form of going along to get along... for the sake of getting the nod. However, in the end, all things will out, and sooner than wanted, you find yourself allone again hoping with only hope left for the real thing. Sharing with a contemporary who has done the deed themselves.
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
An interesting subject has been proposed on one of the discussion groups I subscribe to. The subject is about
whether or not there will actually be a 2004 Presidential election. The resident wise man is suggesting that we have already seen the last election to be held in the United States. I share this sentiment of this speculation.
After this present regime bought it's way into power I was very concerned, but I didn't entertain just how far they would go to close the deal. And, in my mind, it is a deal. After all, they are a group of businessmen you know, and business is business. In this case, it's the business of who is going to run the country and the world. Their real intent, of course, is to take over the entire world, by force if necessary. They're off to a good start. Now that they have "conquered" Iraq, and already threatened Syria if they don't cooperate, their intent is clear.
What could exist as a more succinct example to the world leaders of what could happen to them personally than the way they went after Saddam Hussein and his sons with their smart bombs. They openly admitted that their preemptive strike was not about Iraq, but about the assassination of Hussein. They weren't attempting to oust the government of Iraq, and hold a War Criminals Trial for it's leaders, but to murder the ruling family in as efficient manner as possible. That done, anarchy followed to destroy the assets of the merchant and professional class, and resistance was futile. Who, amongst the leaders of the various countries of the world would not easily see what would happen to them and their family if they resisted or did not cooperate with these power hungry thugs?
Remember the rhetoric about reducing the deficit during the previous elections and how doing that would put the country in good shape? That seems to have happened and the economy was in good shape, not only did the deficit get lowered, but there were surpluses besides that. The problem with having a surplus is that it does no provide the climate for the takeover of the government by a cadre of businessmen whose goal is the success of the military industrial complex.
With the election(?) of the present regime, balance and order were guaranteed to be shattered. Peace and a fair election was not conducive to their effort either, so a war had to be generated to foster the patriotism needed for a nationalistic movement and to squash resistance. The problem is that these people are not concerned with the nation. They have bigger fish to fry. In fact, all the fish. The want to take over the whole kit and kaboodle. They want to rule the world. If you think Saddam Hussein was tough on people who objected to his heavy-handed, oppressive ways, wait until you witness the way the Homeland Security guys handles dissent. You just gonna hate it up there in the Gulags of Alaska where even the Eskimos sus[pect that Hell is cold instead of hot. Me? I'm aiming for the not-so-luxurious suites down at Guantanemo Bay. Like the businessmen say, ya gotta plan ahead.
whether or not there will actually be a 2004 Presidential election. The resident wise man is suggesting that we have already seen the last election to be held in the United States. I share this sentiment of this speculation.
After this present regime bought it's way into power I was very concerned, but I didn't entertain just how far they would go to close the deal. And, in my mind, it is a deal. After all, they are a group of businessmen you know, and business is business. In this case, it's the business of who is going to run the country and the world. Their real intent, of course, is to take over the entire world, by force if necessary. They're off to a good start. Now that they have "conquered" Iraq, and already threatened Syria if they don't cooperate, their intent is clear.
What could exist as a more succinct example to the world leaders of what could happen to them personally than the way they went after Saddam Hussein and his sons with their smart bombs. They openly admitted that their preemptive strike was not about Iraq, but about the assassination of Hussein. They weren't attempting to oust the government of Iraq, and hold a War Criminals Trial for it's leaders, but to murder the ruling family in as efficient manner as possible. That done, anarchy followed to destroy the assets of the merchant and professional class, and resistance was futile. Who, amongst the leaders of the various countries of the world would not easily see what would happen to them and their family if they resisted or did not cooperate with these power hungry thugs?
Remember the rhetoric about reducing the deficit during the previous elections and how doing that would put the country in good shape? That seems to have happened and the economy was in good shape, not only did the deficit get lowered, but there were surpluses besides that. The problem with having a surplus is that it does no provide the climate for the takeover of the government by a cadre of businessmen whose goal is the success of the military industrial complex.
With the election(?) of the present regime, balance and order were guaranteed to be shattered. Peace and a fair election was not conducive to their effort either, so a war had to be generated to foster the patriotism needed for a nationalistic movement and to squash resistance. The problem is that these people are not concerned with the nation. They have bigger fish to fry. In fact, all the fish. The want to take over the whole kit and kaboodle. They want to rule the world. If you think Saddam Hussein was tough on people who objected to his heavy-handed, oppressive ways, wait until you witness the way the Homeland Security guys handles dissent. You just gonna hate it up there in the Gulags of Alaska where even the Eskimos sus[pect that Hell is cold instead of hot. Me? I'm aiming for the not-so-luxurious suites down at Guantanemo Bay. Like the businessmen say, ya gotta plan ahead.
Monday, April 14, 2003
I've had a meditation practice going for a long time. It's not as strict a habit as smoking cigarettes. I even quit smoking a coupla times. Once for about a year and a half. The last time for about three years. But, meditation has been a part of my life for 20-30 years.
For a long time I did it because I thought it was a good thing to do. I didn't have any particular purpose in doing it other than the purpose I might have for following good dietary practices. In the last five years I have begun to understand what the purpose of practicing meditation might be for me. I've read books and listened to audio tapes about meditation over the years to see if I could learn from others different techniques to see if what they did would enhance my practice. Other than that I have never had any individual instruction. I read about how Gautama Buddha did it by counting breaths, and just imitated that. I have participated in group meditation a coupla times and enjoyed being with others, but didn't get so much out of it that I felt like going out of my way to do it again.
I became interested in a set of Enneagram audio training tapes by Helen Palmer. After seeing them around for a while I finally bought my own set of tapes and started listening to them. I listened to them over and over to discover what my chief feature might be. This stuff all started with Gurdijeff's adaptation of Sufi practices he discovered, and has been carried forth by his students to where it is now. As I listened to the tapes I first thought each one of the nine archetypes were all about me, and they are, but after listening to each set of careactoristics redundanty, and contemplating how they fit into my life as I understand it, I finally realized that I identified more closely with the number Five personality type, and that my chief feature was that of Avarice.
The most interesting thing about Helen Palmer's tapes turned out to be some advice she offered on meditating. She talked about how one could use relaxing and letting the belly sag as a way to draw air into the lungs by the weight of the belly pulling the diaphragm down in the solar plexus. After I tried it a coupla times I found it to be an easier way to breathe. She also mentioned that the perineum was considered the holiest part of the body by some, and that letting the conscious mind dwell in that area to control the breath from there as a very powerful meditation technique.
I began to incorporate this technique into my regular counting breath practice, and after about a year found myself extending my sittings to about an hour at a time without effort, and my ability to focus went quantum. This seems to result in some odd, often unforseeable changes in how I see the world. The last coupla days my sittings have lasted about an hour and a half, and it would have been easy to continue. The direction this takes me seems to result in me being even more reclusive than I already am. Using the sensory perceived world for guidance appears to have less of a hold on me. Sanity seems to exist within myself moreso than... out there. LOL
For a long time I did it because I thought it was a good thing to do. I didn't have any particular purpose in doing it other than the purpose I might have for following good dietary practices. In the last five years I have begun to understand what the purpose of practicing meditation might be for me. I've read books and listened to audio tapes about meditation over the years to see if I could learn from others different techniques to see if what they did would enhance my practice. Other than that I have never had any individual instruction. I read about how Gautama Buddha did it by counting breaths, and just imitated that. I have participated in group meditation a coupla times and enjoyed being with others, but didn't get so much out of it that I felt like going out of my way to do it again.
I became interested in a set of Enneagram audio training tapes by Helen Palmer. After seeing them around for a while I finally bought my own set of tapes and started listening to them. I listened to them over and over to discover what my chief feature might be. This stuff all started with Gurdijeff's adaptation of Sufi practices he discovered, and has been carried forth by his students to where it is now. As I listened to the tapes I first thought each one of the nine archetypes were all about me, and they are, but after listening to each set of careactoristics redundanty, and contemplating how they fit into my life as I understand it, I finally realized that I identified more closely with the number Five personality type, and that my chief feature was that of Avarice.
The most interesting thing about Helen Palmer's tapes turned out to be some advice she offered on meditating. She talked about how one could use relaxing and letting the belly sag as a way to draw air into the lungs by the weight of the belly pulling the diaphragm down in the solar plexus. After I tried it a coupla times I found it to be an easier way to breathe. She also mentioned that the perineum was considered the holiest part of the body by some, and that letting the conscious mind dwell in that area to control the breath from there as a very powerful meditation technique.
I began to incorporate this technique into my regular counting breath practice, and after about a year found myself extending my sittings to about an hour at a time without effort, and my ability to focus went quantum. This seems to result in some odd, often unforseeable changes in how I see the world. The last coupla days my sittings have lasted about an hour and a half, and it would have been easy to continue. The direction this takes me seems to result in me being even more reclusive than I already am. Using the sensory perceived world for guidance appears to have less of a hold on me. Sanity seems to exist within myself moreso than... out there. LOL